Being with him was so easy. Which is why our breakup is so hard.

I met my dream man. Despite covid-19 and the perils of dating during a pandemic, I found an extraordinary love with a man I believed was just right for me.

Being with him was so easy. Which is why our breakup is so hard.

A Covid Courtship

We met online and had several social distancing phone dates before we met. Our calls could last for an hour or more, the time going by without either of us knowing it. No topic was off limits. …


You never forget the lovers that kissed you like that

Sometimes a kiss is just a kiss. Sometimes it’s a smokly prelude that leaves you wanting more, moving forward slowly, freely, eyes closing to allow your sense of taste and touch to carry you away, anticipation and desire building into a crescendo that steals your breath. Sweet, spicy, electric.

In my lifetime, there were just a few men who mastered the art of that kind of kiss. Those are the kisses and lovers you savor long after the relationship is over.

Sitting side by side

I saw the smoke in…


Reflections on moving forward after the most remarkable year in a lifetime.

2020 was a remarkable year.

It was the year my toes felt more sand between them than any other time in my adult life.

It was the year my circle of friendships grew deeper and wider.

2020 was the year my children and I bonded in a more mature way, testament to their continued growth into the beautiful souls they are. While they’re still teens, I’m glimpsing the gift of friendship that awaits us as they move into adulthood.

2020 was the year I fell in love with an extraordinary man. Even though that relationship ended too soon, we cared…


I taught her to be free. Now I have to teach her to be safe.

2014

My daughter comes running into the house saying, “She told me to play like a GIRL!” Her hair is free and wild with knots that will take a good while to get out. Her face is dusted with the evidence of rugged, outdoor play. The person who scolded her is a neighbor I don’t know so well. Right now, I don’t like her too much either.

“How does a girl play?” I ask my 6-year-old.

“They play nice and don’t get hurt. But I like to play rough and tumble like the boys!” She says. …


art credit: Edvard Munch, Kiss, 1892

When it comes to dating, I endure small talk.

Where do you work? How many kids do you have? Where did you go to school?

These are mundane questions, when I yearn for anything but. Pleasantries are a means to an end, opening the dialogue between strangers so we can move on to getting to know one another. A man who is confident enough to talk about what matters and moves him is a man skilled in aural sex.

I’m sure I’m not alone in my appreciation for getting real. In the era of Covid-19 dating, can we admit to…


Meeting someone, and dating again, was the last thing on my mind until now.

Photo credit: https://www.newhdwallpapers.in/love-couple-wallpapers/hug-love-couple-painting/
Photo credit: https://www.newhdwallpapers.in/love-couple-wallpapers/hug-love-couple-painting/
Photo credit: https://www.newhdwallpapers.in/love-couple-wallpapers/hug-love-couple-painting/

Meeting someone, and dating again, was the last thing on my mind until now.

Between my career and children, I didn’t have the bandwidth for much except the occasional night out with friends. That’s been my life for four years — work, pay off debt, save a little, make sure my son and daughter are nourished in body, mind and soul, and start it all over again, day after day, week after week.

When I gave relationships a thought, I also knew that I needed to heal from the apocalypse of my former marriage before my inner femme fatale would…


I stayed past the last kiss, last time we had sex, last time I wanted to look him in the eye.

Anguished woman holds up her hand.
Anguished woman holds up her hand.

For years, an essay title mulled around in my mind, “Split Decision: Staying Present in a Fractured Marriage.” The problem was, I didn’t dare write it.

A few close friends picked up on the double meaning. Split decision hinted at the truths behind my life, the veil of happiness, or at least acceptance, that I wore for public viewing. While I had healthy, intelligent children, lived in a pretty home in an enviable neighborhood, and took pride in owning a business with my spouse, I kept a secret.

My husband was mentally unstable, emotionally manipulative, and often scared the crap…

Split Decision: Staying Present in a Chaotic World

Ambiverted writer exploring the topics that matter most to me: love, dating, personal growth, relationship and motherhood.

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